Going back to boot camp a couple of weeks ago, (seriously, some days you learn more and have more ideas in one day than in many spans of days!) I came up with several questions to live by and so far, when applied, they are doing me well.Perhaps you saw the “why” video, the first two are along that line.
When dealing with current clients, potential clients, friends and anyone in your life, ask yourself:
#1 Am I MORE after dealing/interacting with this person or situation?
I don’t care how you define “more”. Happier, maybe. More knowledgable, inspired, entertained etc etc, I think you can FEEL what it means to be more.
Answer that question. If the answer is “Yes! Of course!” then good! Continue your dealings with this person. If the answer is “well… no, not really, I mean, maybe?” That situation needs a bright light (I have some recommendations ;-P ) and for you to evaluate why you are still involved with this. There may not be fiscal costs and may even be fiscal benefits to certain people and situations but there are ALWAYS opportunity costs. Time spent with someone draining your soul is taking away from a chance to feed said soul. We only have so much energy and time in this life. Let’s put it toward experiences and people who invigorate us – clients included!
Piggy backing off of that, when sharing your marketing material, social media comments or even the stuff coming out of your mouth ask yourself:
#2 Will my audience be/have/feel MORE after interacting with this?
If yes, post it! Say it! Share your joy and knowledge with the world! It doesn’t have to be life changing – but many small positive actions and feelings lead to big life changes.
If not, if it’s a rant, complaints, gossip, offensive (unless of course this happens to be your brand…) don’t post or say it.
We don’t need the negativity, and you do not need the small hit satisfaction that quickly turns sour and counterproductive.
(Side note – anything where the answer is neutral (neither more nor less) why take the effort to share in the first place?)
#3 Is this situation controllable?
You don’t need to change the world. You cannot control what the world does. But you can change your world, which can in turn (uncontrollably) affect many more lives. If you can fix the problem, fix it and don’t worry about it. If you can’t, don’t worry about it.
On Monday I was flying to Colorado for the amazing Superstars Writing Seminar and due to weather, my first flight was an hour and 40 minutes late to leave – which put me in Chicago 10 minutes too late to get on my connecting flight, but with just enough time to watch my plane get de-iced with the doors sealed and kiosks emptied.
Thanks to the staff in Detroit, I knew the next flight to Denver was not for another 6 hours.
Ultimately, that situation was not controllable. No good would have come from being irritable, angry or mad. And the effort I would have had to put forth to attempt to circumvent flights and airlines to get to Denver sooner would not have been worth the effort or time.
So instead of changing the world, I changed myself and made use of 6 hours of almost (I did make a chatty friend) uninterrupted time. I worked, and I was as productive as being in my home office.
Ultimately, this was MUCH better than stewing, crying or eating out the food court.
#4 Is this the MOST IMPORTANT THING I should be doing right now?
If you are constantly checking in with yourself (and being honest about how NECESSARY checking your email for the 15th time this hour is) you can keep yourself on track to accomplishing your 2018 and lifetime goals.
The most important thing can vary from day to day and even hour to hour, minute to minute. It might be going running because you’re stir crazy, upset or unfocused. It could be finishing and sending off a work project, or finishing and sending out thank you cards. It could be spending an hour TRULY BEING with your family. I don’t mean physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.
Just ask yourself the question and do some shifting if necessary, but do not be afraid to really FEEL what your next most important thing is. You’ll know. You’ll KNOW what is truly priority in terms of this moment. Health related, family, world even your video marketing… you’ll know, And THAT. THAT is what you need to shift your focus to, or plan out the moment when you are able to give that your complete focus, lest you go through life, never doing the important things and wonder where all the time went and why are you only where you are.
Let me know what you think and if you use these questions to good effect!
To knowing what’s in focus,